I had breakfast with my buddy Shawn today. You might remember Shawn, he is the guy I used to play racquetball with. Used to, thats what I said. I was looking back in my journal, and I had not talk with Shawn since early November when he called me at work, and had not played with him since October. Today is New Years Eve, so its been a while.
What is nice is that in the past I would have spent that time, the time of non contract building some sort of abstract conflict in my head, just fermenting some sort of rage. This time around I did not do that. I was surely sad that I had not seen my friend, or played racquetball, but I was not that upset about it. People fall out of friendships all the time, and that is just what happened. So, I put the racquet on the shelf, and made the adjustment.
He hit me up on email, and wanted to get breeakfast, which is fine. So, we went to the Mint and ate. It was fine, and he paid, and my food was just garbage, but that is that. I felt fine with the whole deal. I do not have any expectations, and I am not going to mimic patterns of that past, where I would essentially pursue a friendship. I think we can see in most friendships that at points there is a pursuit, and a pursued. I think for the most part this swings from single to with families.
I am 41 now, and single. Whre most ofthe people I know have families, and as such the friendship model changes. But, I think that no matter what happens or the circumstance, friendship has to be serviced, you have to value the friendship and some how show the valueing of the friendship. I think you need to show the person you are friends with that the friendship, no matter what state, is of merit and signfiicance.
I think for me, I have had a hard time accepting the definition of this service in the past. Right now I am confronted with what i would call a case of lack of service in a friendship. This is complicated because it was also a psuedo professional relationship. So, my feelings are hurt, and my mind is concerned. But, I cannot pay that debt, I have only my end of things to control.
I am excited for the new year.
